Breaking Down the Wall
by PieceOfShit96
Summary: How Otis and my O/C develop their relationship, in a little more detail. Otis is scared of letting people too close, but this new girl? She'll get to him.
1. Chapter 1

She looked down at the bodies at her feet. The two men who had jumped her in the parking lot as she left the hospital were bleeding from their necks, their heart pumping feebly as they died. She was a trauma surgeon, leaving after her late night shift. They had tried to rape her, but she always carried a knife with her.

She heard a giggle from behind her. She recognized that laugh- Baby Firefly.

"Hey there, Adoria! What're you up to?"

"I...I...I..." She stammered.

"Come on. Let's get you back to my place and get you cleaned up! Ain't got no where else to go, do ya?"

"N...no..."

"Come on, then!"

Adoria had recently moved to Texas after she finished her residency up north. She had gotten a job almost immediately at a hospital near Ruggsville, and stayed in the bunks in the hospital until she could find a place.

She had quickly befriended Baby Firefly when she had brought her Grandfather into the hospital with bronchitis. She was a friendly girl, and very kind to Adoria, often bringing her homemade desserts when her mother made them.

She rode silently in the car with Baby, shaking after the ordeal. She had no idea what to expect at the Firefly home. She knew they were odd people, Baby had explained that to her, and had even confided that they had killed some bad people to make the town safer. But she still had no idea the depths of who they were.

Baby led her in the house and up to the bathroom. "You can go ahead and shower. I'll set some clothes out for you. Just calm down now. You'll be alright. You're home now."

She nodded, extremely grateful.

The warm water felt heavenly on her exhausted body. She had worked a 12-hour shift and then had to fight for her life. Thankfully, she hadn't gotten hurt, but she was tired as hell, and couldn't wait to lie down.

Once she had dried off and put the clothes on that Baby had laid out for her, she opened the bathroom door, immediately colliding with someone.

"Hey!" He grumbled.

She was immediately captivated by him, especially his eyes. They were blood red, with flecks of blue closer to his pupils, and brown flecks closer to the outside. He was ghostly pale, and his hair was almost white. He was shirtless, and he was well-toned and built, thin but muscular. He had blood smears on his chest, though. He had been up to something.

"Baby!" He yelled, not taking his eyes off of her. "Who did you bring home?"

"Oh! A friend of mine! She's gonna stay here now!"

"Oh, fuckin' great." He rolled his eyes, moving to shove past her.

She grabbed one of his belt loops close to his front pockets and pulled him against her. "Where you goin', handsome? Aren'cha gonna introduce yourself?" She loved teasing men like this. Ones that thought they were big and tough. They always got so pissed off.

He laughed. "You ain' nothin' but scared, and you're tryin' to act all tough and seduce me, right?" He shoved her off. "You couldn't handle it, bitch." He stalked back to his room, slamming the door.

About an hour passed. She sat and talked with Baby and relaxed. Eventually, Mother Firefly came into the living room. "Come on, everyone! I made dessert! Let's all sit down and enjoy it together!" She turned and smiled at Adoria. "You too, sweetheart. You're one of this family now."

They all came and sat at the table. She tried her best not to marvel at Tiny, not wanting to be rude. She heard Otis thunder down the stairs and stop dead when he laid eyes on her again. He must have forgotten about her.

"It's okay, Otis. She's family now." Mother Firefly gestured for him to sit down.

He took a seat, avoiding her gaze. She kept an eye on him as they sat together. He ate very slowly, glancing around the table repeatedly. He was a nervous mother fucker. Baby kept glancing at him, as well. She seemed concerned.

"Otis. Relax." Baby rested a hand on his back.

"I'm fine." He snapped, leaning back in his chair.

She helped Mother Firefly clean up the dishes as the rest of the family dispersed.

"Don't worry about Otis." She finally spoke. "He gets nervous around new people."

"Why?"

"Uhm...well...I'm not sure if he'd want you to know or not right now, but you're a part of this family now, so...Otis didn't have a very good life before he came to us...He was very badly abused as a child...It's been a very long time, but you know...that kind of stuff stays with you. He still suffers..."

"Oh..."

"He's very sensitive about it. He doesn't like people to know. Big strong man that he is now, you know." She smiled, sighing softly. "I remember when he first came here. He was so sick, the poor thing. So, so sick. We thought we would lose him. He was so thin, too... You see, he's...had a few bouts of anorexia, here and there...Comes with the territory I guess. But, we nursed him back to health and here he is."

"Hm..." So he was fucked up. That was why he was such a bastard.

"You'll be staying in his room, actually. He needs some company. He's so secluded most of the time..."

When Mother Firefly informed Otis of this, and handed him a stack of blankets and pillows, he seemed bewildered.

"Now you be nice to her, you hear?" Mother Firefly kissed his cheek and started away.

"Ah...You can sleep in my bed. I'll sleep on the floor..."

"Oh. How nice of you." She smirked.

He ripped the tattered orange blanket off of his bed and threw the pillows on the floor in a far corner, tossing the stack of blankets on the bed.

She made the bed and curled up, relishing in the comfort of the mattress. She heard Otis settle, and fell asleep herself.

She had been there for two days, and she heard Otis talking to Baby that afternoon.

"Baby, you gotta let her stay in here."

"What's wrong? You look awful. You ain't been sleepin'."

"No...I can't...I can't sleep with someone in the room with me..."

"That's not dead or tied up, you mean."

"Mm..."

"Okay. I'll bring her over here tonight, to let you sleep."

That night, she slept in Baby's room. She slept in Baby's bed while Baby took to the floor, just as Otis had. At least they were all polite in that respect. She somewhat balked at the fact that Otis couldn't sleep with someone in the same room as him. Was he terrorized that badly as a child? God, she wondered how fucked he was in the head.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, she got up early and went to work, just as she normally would. One of the Firefly clan had gone and gotten her car for her last night, a fact she was extremely grateful for.

When she drove back to the Firefly ranch, she hesitantly walked into the house. Otis was sitting at the kitchen table, fiddling with something.

"Hey." She waved.

"Hn? Hey."

"What're you workin' on?" She asked, sitting in front of him.

"Ah...Well...workin' on somethin' for somethin' else."

"You working on something for one of your statues up there?"

He nodded.

"You make the props for Spaulding's museum, don't you?"

"Yeah. How'd you know that?"

"I saw your artwork up there, and I've been to Spaulding's. The craftsmanship is the same. Didn't take much to figure it out."

"Mm." He ventured a glance at her.

"That's not an insult, by the way. I think your work is extraordinary. You focus a lot on the details and it really shows."

"Huh? Er...Thanks..."

"I noticed you draw, too."

He glared at her hesitantly. "Yeah...?"

"Your portraits are beautiful. I saw the one you did of Baby. It's incredible."

He simply stared at her, unsure of what to say or do. She stood and sauntered over to him, swaying her hips.

"Thank you is usually what normal people say." She sat in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Yeah, but I'm not normal, mama."

She leaned in slowly, kissing him once and puling away. "What do you mean by that, handsome?" She traced her thumb down his chest.

No one had ever scrambled his head like that when they kissed him before. He pulled his head back and looked at her, blinking dumbly.

"What's that look for, huh? Cat got your tongue?" She licked her lips and kissed him again, plunging her tongue into his mouth. He reciprocated this time, pulling her closer to his body and kissing her hungrily.

He wasn't sure what it was, but he liked the way his head spun and he couldn't think of anything.

He felt her hand at the back of his neck, finger tips pressing lightly into his skin. Her thumb rested at the base of his skull, stroking back and forth as they kissed.

He felt her other hand rest on his cheek, and couldn't stop himself from flinching.

"Shhh...Chill. I'm not gonna smack you around." She bit his lip, pulling it between her teeth before releasing it. "Unless you want me to."

"I've got a better idea." He led her up to his room, throwing her on the bed as he undid his belt.

"If you hit me with that, you're a fuckin' dead man."

"Nah. Not into that." He pulled his shirt over his head and crawled on top of her, kissing her again.

Getting the right leverage, she flipped them so that she was on top of him. It took a decent bit of effort- he wasn't a small man, in terms of height.

He seemed nervous suddenly. She tried to ignore it and pushed his hair away from his neck, and kissed his nape. The low groans encouraged her, and she nipped at the pale flesh. She kissed along his jawline, kissing his throat and working her way along his collarbone. She felt his hands on her back, pulling her closer as she left kisses on his skin.

She pulled back, pushing her own hair out of her face. His eyes had darkened with lust, and something else.

She felt him against her leg, and smirked devilishly. "Come on, baby. What're you waitin' on?"

He flipped her onto her back and stripped his jeans and underwear off. She was already naked, and he relished in the sight of her body. She was curvy, but still thin, and was marked with artwork across her torso.

He let his hands roam on her body. Goosebumps rose on her skin at his touch, his hands were calloused and rough, but large and warm, gentle. He kissed down her sternum, stopping at her navel and working his way back up to her neck. His scruff bristled against her, and she moaned softly.

She fisted his hair, entangling her fingers in the strands.

She had never had sex that good in her life. One hand fisted his hair while the other dug into his back, scraping her nails down his spine. He was rough and she loved it.

He rolled off of her and pulled his pants back on, leaving her still shell-shocked on his bed.

"Holy fuck."She muttered as he left, slamming the door.

His head whirled as he leaned against the wall. He was terrified. Of all the women he had had sex with, it had never felt like that. That wasn't just having sex. That was making love.

He had never seen his future when he kissed someone. But he just had.

"Otis?" He heard Baby approach him. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." He stormed off, thundering down the stairs and out into the yard.

Lying there in his bed felt strangely like home.

She was still reeling. She couldn't believe what had just happened. She had just had sex with Baby's brother, Otis. Otis, that enigmatic ass that she had such a strange quirk for. And she had loved every second of writhing against his body.

She stood and put her clothes back on, leaving his room and closing the door behind her. Baby saw her, and her jaw dropped.

"Did...Did you just...?"

She nodded sheepishly.

"Oooohhh. I know what's wrong with him, then." She smirked devilishly. "He's got it for you bad, now."

"What?"

"He's got feelings and doesn't know what to do about 'em." She giggled. "He's scared. Been broken so many times he doesn't want to feel, and when he does it scares him."

"W...we just had sex...it's not..."

"Don't tell me you didn't feel it too...That'd break his heart. He's already had enough of that..."

She sighed. "No...honestly...I did..."

Baby giggled. "He'll get his head sorted out. You just have to be patient with him."


	3. Chapter 3

Otis seemed to avoid her that evening, turning on his heels if he saw her in a room. Her heart hurt for him; he seemed to be punishing himself for having whatever feelings he had for her.

He didn't come down for dinner that night. No one seemed surprised except for her.

"Does he do that a lot?"

"Mmm. Sometimes. If somethin's botherin' him, he won't eat or come down." Mother Firefly shrugged. "It's only worse if you bring attention to it. He hates attention like that."

"Oh...I see."

When they had all gone to bed, she lie awake, wondering what it would take to get through to him. He had to be so broken inside if his family members all talked like they did. She wondered what torture his parents had put him through for him to be that way. She thought back to their encounter. He had flinched when she touched his face. Most abuse victims that she had seen in her short experience didn't flinch like that if the were in the middle of a sexual experience. What in the hell had been done to him?

She heard a desperate, heart-wrenching shriek and sat up in the bed. She waited a moment, deciding if she was dreaming and had heard it or if it was real.

"Don't worry about that..." Baby mumbled sleepily. "That's just Otis."

"What?"

"He has nightmares sometimes. A lot of the times, actually. We just sleep through it most of the time, anymore."

"NO!" He cried, howling into the night.

"Must be a bad one..." Baby rolled over.

She jumped up and rushed to Otis's room.

"No, Adi! Don't! That's a bad idea!" Baby called after her.

She threw open the door, rushing to his bedside.

He was drenched in sweat, writhing and struggling against his blanket, which he was entangled in.

"Otis! Otis wake up!" She grabbed his wrists so he couldn't lash out at her and shook him. He struggled violently against her, begging someone to stop hurting him. "Otis! It's okay! They can't hurt you anymore!"

His breathing suddenly changed and he froze. He opened his eyes and threw himself into the corner, trying to writhe out of her grip. He was awake, but he looked mortified.

"Otis... It's okay...They can't hurt you anymore. You're safe."

His eyes narrowed. "How the fuck did you know?"

"I...I don't know everything, just that you were abused-"

"Get. out."

"Otis-"

"GET. OUT."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of-"

"GET THE FUCK OUT I SAID!"

Unwilling to have his wrath rain down upon her, she skittered out of his room. She swung the door almost shut, leaving a small crack open to look in.

He seemed to collapse in on himself. He curled into a ball, bringing his knees to his chest and resting his back against the wall, arm around his legs and one hand fisting the hair at the crown of his head.

"Fuck. Goddammit. Fuck. FUCK!" He trembled, and she swore he was sobbing.

Hiding in the shadows, she saw Baby enter his room. She sat next to him on the bed.

"Otis...You okay?"

"I'm fine. Leave me alone."

"Otis...You know she's just trying to help you...She doesn't know..." She stroked his back.

"Stop. Leave me alone."

"You can't keep pushing people away just because you've been hurt."

"I'm not weak! I'm not fucking weak! I can take care of myself!"

"No one said you couldn't, Otis...No one said you were weak."

"I hate this! I fucking...I'm not WEAK!" He threw something that stuck into the wall. His knife, she reasoned.

"Okay...I'm going to leave you alone...I know how you get..."

"Don't let the door hit your ass." He grumbled.

Baby left and wandered back to her room. She wanted so badly to go in and comfort him. She had dealt with patients with PTSD because of abuse, but she had never seen someone that suffered as much as him and hid himself away so much.

She heard footsteps come back up the stairs. Mother Firefly walked in to Otis's room, mug in hand. She sat down beside him. He had curled up in his reclusive knot again.

"Oh, sweetie..." She stroked his back. "I wish there was something I could do to help you..."

"I'm fine. It ain't nothin'."

"Sweetheart..." She sighed, forlorn. "It just tortures you so..."

"Said I'm fine..."

She kissed his cheek. "Here, sweetie." She handed him the mug of tea. "This always helps you relax again..."

He nodded. "Thank you..."

"It doesn't make you weak, Otis..." She whispered as she walked out.

The next day, when they all came down the stairs for breakfast, Otis came down and walked straight out the door.

"Well, he won't eat for a few more days." R.J. stated matter-of-factly.

"Huh?"

"When he has a spell like that he usually doesn't eat for a while." Baby filled in the blanks.

"That's...really horrible for his body..."

"We know...It's better not to pester him about it, though. It just makes it worse."

"Yeah, you said that. But..."

"Maybe you can help him..." Mother Firefly seemed to be begging.

"I...I'll try."

When Otis came back in after the long after noon, she cornered him.

"What is your problem?"

"Fuck you."

"I did. It was amazing. Which is why I don't understand why you're avoiding me now."

He glared down at her. "I don't have to fuckin' tell you."

"I heard you and Baby talking. I know you're scared about your feelings and all that shit-"

"Fuck you!"

"Don't you _fucking_ interrupt me, Otis!" She stuck her finger in his face. He curled his lip, starting to say something, but she got closer to his face, intimidating him. "I don't understand you."

"I didn't ask you to." He snapped.

"Can I tell you something and have you fuckin' listen to me?"

"I'm listening."

"Okay. First I'm going to ask you a question. Why do you push people away so hard?"

"I don't owe you the answer to that."

"You're afraid of getting hurt again. Got it."

"I didn't-"

"You didn't have to."

He drew back, glaring. He was trying to feign anger, but his eyes betrayed his pain and frustration.

"Whoever hurt you can't anymore. You beating yourself up and pushing people away is only hurting you more. They don't deserve to take another second of your life. They don't deserve to have a hold on you anymore. I understand you're still in pain from that and you still have residual effects, but they don't. Deserve. To have this hold on you that they do. You're putting yourself in a cage because they put you in it. And the door's open, you just won't come out because it's safer there."

All he could do was stare at her, bewildered.

"I know you felt what I felt this afternoon. And I know that scares you. I will take it as slow as you need to. But I'm not letting that go."

He looked down, wringing his hands. He chuckled sadly. "I almost promise you; you don't want to be with me."

"I'm willing to try to prove you wrong."

He thought about what Baby had told him, and what she had just told him. They were right. They were both fucking right, and he somewhat resented them for it.

He looked back up at her, shaking his head and chuckling. "You're a stubborn one, aren't you?"

"I take what I want."

"Okay..." He sighed. "Okay. You just...gotta let me...y'know. This...isn't...This isn't going to be easy for me at first." He chewed his lip. "Just...I'll show you what I'm ready for."

"Okay. That's fair." She tucked a strand of hair behind hid ear and leaned closer to him. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him, entangling her fingers in the hair at the base of his head. "Relax. Just let go." She said, burying her face in his chest.

God, he hoped he could. Because she felt so good.


	4. Chapter 4

When dinner was served in the Firefly household, it was organized chaos until everyone settled. Which was why Otis usually waited a bit to come down.

She didn't figure Otis would come down tonight. He was still nervous about their situation, she was sure.

"So, you and Happy Boy himself are an item now, eh?" Grampa Hugo smirked.

Her face reddened. "Er...yeah."

"You be careful with that little white bastard. He'll kill ya just as soon as look at cha."

"I know. I...Have my ways." She winked at the older man.

After the table was cleared, she made a small plate and took it up to Otis. He was sitting at his desk, working on something or other.

"Otis?"

"Nn?"

"You hungry?"

He sat up and turned in his chair to face her. "U...uh..."

"I brought you a plate up, just in case you were."

"Uh...Thanks..."

"Can I watch you?"

"What?"

"Can I watch you work?"

"W...Ah...I...I guess."

"Am I making you nervous?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry...I just...want to get to know you. You seem like a very interesting person..."

He reached over to the plate and took a bite of food absentmindedly, returning to his work. "'Cuz I'm albino, right?"

"No. Not everyone is here to treat you like shit, Otis."

She watched him sketch for a while. He would sketch a while and take a few bites of food. She was sure that it was cold by now, but he was still eating it. When he sat back and seemed like he was finished with the piece, she touched his knee gently.

"Hey. Come here."

He stood and sat in front of her on the bed. "Why?"

She crawled into his lap, cuddling into him and kissing his neck lightly. She could hear his heart pounding.

"Is this okay?"

"Yeah..." He adjusted himself so that he was more comfortable, and seemed to relax a little.

"How about this?" She took his face in her hands, and pulled him in to kiss him. He flinched at the contact at first, but kissed her back.

Her thumbs stroked his cheeks as they kissed, something entirely new to him. He wasn't used to kissing the women he had sex with. They were either prostitutes, victims, or Baby. Yeah, he kissed Baby, but not like this. This was loving and sweet and completely different from anything he'd ever experienced. She didn't just lust for him, she wanted to love him.

She broke away, giving him a few shorter kisses. When she broke away, he didn't open his eyes right away. She still had her hands on his face, lightly stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. He was trying to stop his head from spinning. This was so different to him, he wasn't entirely sure how to handle himself at this point. And when he was in doubt, he usually just shut down.

"Was that okay?" She lowered one hand, resting it on his knee. He opened his eyes and nodded. She couldn't help but shudder at the way the candle light danced in his eyes. It was beautiful and eerie all at one time. She knew she should be afraid of him. But something in her mind wouldn't let her.

She felt him rest his hand on hers that was still on his face. They sat there like that for a while, simply staring at each other.

"You flinch when I touch your face."

"Not been very often it hasn't had some force behind it."

"I just want to love you until you don't hurt anymore..."

He couldn't think of a response, so he simply fell silent.

She curled back up to him, resting her head on his collarbone and snuggling into his chest. She felt his arm snake around her back, his hand resting on her ribcage, his thumb tracing circles on her skin.

"Otis...?"

"Hm."

"If you have another nightmare tonight...Will you let me in?"

"No...I'm...not ready for that."

"Why?"

"What do you mean, why? Because I fuckin' said so."

"Stop with the bravado shit. I know why. It's too much of a weak spot for you. And you hate that. You can't have any soft spots for anything or any one."

He hated the way she could read him. But he also appreciated it, it some sick way. He didn't have to explain himself.

"So...I'm still sleeping in Baby's room, then?"

"Yep."

"You asshole."

"Yep."

That night, she didn't hear the pained howls of his night terrors. She wondered if he was awake or if he was just sleeping soundly. When she woke up on her own accord in the middle of the night, she peeked through his door to check on him.

He was curled up, that ragged orange blanket draped over his body, facing the wall. She ventured into the room, careful of the creaking floorboards. He looked so peaceful- from what she could see of his face. He had the blanket up over his shoulders, partially obstructing her view of his features.

She sighed and exited, praying that she wouldn't hear his screams that night.

At breakfast, Otis seemed slightly awkward with her again. He wasn't quite sure what to do, considering he had never been in the situation of having a significant other in the Firefly family.

Later, when she came home from work, she found him relaxing on the couch in the living room, watching television with Grampa.

She approached him from behind and gently started rubbing his shoulders. He jerked forward, slightly alarmed and turned to see who it was.

"Oh. Hey."

"Hey, handsome." She leaned over the couch and kissed him. She whispered in his ear, "Is this okay?"

He nodded, leaning back to let her continue. When she was bored of rubbing his shoulders, she sat next to him, curling up to him and laying her head on his shoulder.

He hated himself for the way his heart beat in his ears when she touched him, especially when she curled up to him like this. He ventured a glance down at her and couldn't help but stare. She was gorgeous, and there she was. Curled up to him. Loving on him. She had to want something from him. She had to have another motive...

But the way she talked to him...and the way Baby trusted her...Usually, if he didn't trust someone, Baby didn't either. But she trusted her...Maybe she wasn't just trying to fuck him over.

He apprehensively shifted his arm from under her, wrapping it around her body. She smiled hugely up at him, kissing his jaw lightly. He couldn't stop himself from leaning in to the kisses. This all felt too good to him. And it scared the hell out of him.

She eventually dozed off against him, snoring lightly on his shoulder. She looked so peaceful, resting her head there, cuddled up to him. He wondered if she had any idea what he actually did.

When he started to get drowsy, he woke her up and carried her to Baby's room, laying her down on the bed and turning to walk away.

"Hey...Aren'cha gonna give me a good night kiss?"

"What?"

"Give me a kiss goodnight, asshole."

"Nope. Especially now that you called me asshole." He stalked back to his room.

"Goodnight, Otis." She called after him.


	5. Chapter 5

The nightmares were worse that night. First she heard him moaning, begging someone to stop. Then she pained howls and screaming came. It broke her heart. She wanted to run to him and hold him and tell him it was okay, but she knew it would just piss him off.

Finally, the loudest scream was cut off, and she knew he had woken up. She heard the growl of anger and a few loud thuds. He rustled around for a bit, then she heard his footsteps down the hall, down the stairs and out the door.

She tried to settle herself, praying that he would be okay.

When sunlight peeked through the curtains of Baby's room, she rose and stretched. She prepared herself for the day, showering and getting dressed, and then peeked through Otis's door. He was slumped over his desk, pencil still in hand. He had crudely wrapped his hands with medical tape he had found somewhere, and blood was seeping through.

Sighing, she gently stroked his back, making her fingertips dance over his spine. His eyes opened slowly, squinting into the light as he leaned back in his chair.

"Shit..." He rubbed his face.

"Good morning, Otis."

"Hey..."

"You had a bad night last night." She continued to stroke his back, inching closer to him.

"No shit."

"What'd you do to your hands?"

"Punched a bear."

"No, seriously. What happened?" She kneeled in front of him, taking his hands in hers and unwrapping them. He hissed, pulling back, but she held them steady.

"Just...takin' out a little aggression..."

"Where did you go?"

"The brush down here..."

"So you punched a tree."

"Multiple times."

The flesh was peeled back on his knuckles and beginning of his fingers, even pulling back on the back of his hands.

"Jesus, you went to town."

"You should see the other guy."

"I'm sure he knew he was _barking up the wrong tree."_ She cackled at the look that Otis gave her. A mix of 'are you fucking kidding me' and 'please kill me'. "Ohh, don't be so sour. Hold still. I'll be right back." She dug through her medicine bag and brought the bottle of alcohol back to him, sighing as he looked at her apprehensively. "This...is probably gonna hurt a little." She doused his hands in alcohol, watching him cringe. "Sorry..."

"Not the worst I've ever had..."

"Oh, yeah? What was the worst?"

He glared down at her.

"Not ready for that yet?"

He shook his head.

"Okay, fair enough." She wrapped his hands in fresh bandages after she dabbed them dry.

"...When my dad broke my ribs and my pelvis at the same time." He avoided her eyes.

"What?"

He looked at her pointedly.

"Holy shit...Otis..."

He shrugged. "I've never been in so much pain in my life. He kept right on at it, too. He didn't stop just because he heard the cracks."

She pulled him into a hug, immediately getting shoved off. "What the fuck?"

"I didn't ask for a pity party. You asked."

"Let. someone. be there for you." She tried again, pulling him into an embrace. To her surprise, he didn't resist this time. "Was that so hard?"

He paused.

"I know you feel like you're being weak or some shit when you let people do this. But you're not. I promise you, you're not."

"This is just...new territory, that's all..."

"Otis, you've been so strong for so long...Aren't you tired?"

That caught him off guard. He reeled back for a moment to look at her face.

"Don't you deserve someone to love you? To take some of the weight of the world off of you?"

She stared him down, waiting for an answer. When he didn't reply, she knew what he was thinking.

"You do. And whatever happened to you, whatever broke you so much, you didn't deserve it."

"I'm not _broken._ " He growled.

"Really? Really, Otis? You have me standing in front of you, begging you to let me love you and you just keep pushing me away, and you're not broken? I didn't say you were weak. You aren't. I told you that. I just mean that...you need to heal a little bit. You need to let yourself heal a little instead of carrying that fuckin' cross like you do."

He broke eye contact, looking down at his hands.

"Let. me. in." She took his face in her hands and kissed him. He broke away first.

"I told you, you have to let me do this the way I want to. You keep fuckin' pushin' me and I'm not..."

"You're not ready for that, I get it. But I can still make my case."

"Mm..."

"I have to go to work. Be good today." She kissed him and stood.

"Hey." He called out. She turned on her heels, waiting for him to speak. "Er...Thank you..."

She winked at him before continuing away.

When she returned from work, she beelined up to Otis's room. He was working, behind the curtain blocking off his 'studio' from the rest of the attic.

"Give me a second." He called.

"Just me."

He peeked around the curtain. "You're home already?"

"I don't always work really long shifts." She tried not to betray her excitement that he wasn't disgusted with her presence.

"Hm." He ducked back behind the curtain once more, disconnecting them.

She remained silent, unsure whether she should talk to him or not. Finally, he stepped out around the curtain. Blood stained his shirt and streaked his arms.

"Was wonderin' if you were still here."

"I figured you'd get pissy if I talked to you while you were working."

He shrugged. "It depends."

"Great. You're so easy to read I'm sure I'll be able to determine that right away."

He chuckled, letting a genuine smile grace his features. She stood on her tiptoes, balancing by placing her hand on his chest and kissed him.

He couldn't help how he felt in that moment. To have someone come home after working all day and wanting to see him first thing after they walked through that door. He couldn't help the happiness he felt, but he tried to squelch it, telling himself it wasn't real, they would turn soon enough and get tired of him. He didn't want it to happen, but he knew allowing himself to feel the way his heart wanted him to was dangerous. So he listened to his brain instead. Now, if he let his dick into the conversation...

She buried her head in his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. She was begging to be loved by him just as much as she was begging him to let her love him.

She deserved to be loved, he reasoned. He could loosen the slack on his emotions if only for her sake.

He wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands in the small of her back, and kissed her head. She craned her neck to look up at him, smiling hugely.

The way his heart twisted when she smiled up at him like that couldn't be ignored, though.


	6. Chapter 6

The nightmares continued, and she continued to wish so badly that he would let her come to him. He sounded so fearful and desperate. She wondered what kind of hell he had endured for such a strong, fearless man to still have such terrors. It pained her to see him flinch when she touched his face, or when she raised her hand too quickly to rest it on his shoulder.

He hated himself for it. He wished that after all this time he could just forget about the abuse. To get over it and not react so strongly when someone touched him. He did want the affection, did want the touches. He had longed for that his whole life, secretly. But he still wasn't sure of her motives.

However unsure he was about the relationship; the sex was absolutely phenomenal.

She knew just how to get him, too. She had learned quickly how sensitive Otis's neck was and used it to her advantage. She knew how to make him moan and squirm, begging for her to do more than just tease him.

A month passed, and she made herself home in the Firefly house. Otis opened up to her little by little, exposing more of him self to her.

She couldn't wait to come home to him every day, especially as he began to be more and more open.

When she walked in the door, she bolted upstairs to see him. "Otis! I'm home!"

"Hey, mama." He stood to receive her as she dove into his arms. She kissed him deeply, sweetly, and when she pulled away, her heart swelled. He had a genuine smile on his face, something he very rarely did, but was happening more often now. She loved that smile. She loved eliciting that reaction from him. He pressed his forehead to hers, relishing in the moment.

He sat back down to work on whatever sketch he was working on, and she sat on the bed, watching him.

"Otis...can I play with your hair?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Uh...sure?"

She sat down beside him, on his ride side to ensure that he could work with his left hand and she wouldn't bother him. Pulling his hair to his right shoulder, she began to run a brush through it.

"Hey, how come you wear that leather cuff on your left arm? Just cuz you like it?"

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, put his pencil down and undid the bracelet, letting it fall to the table. A thick jagged scar wrapped its way around his wrist, puckering the skin.

He sighed, hesitating. "...This is the last scar they gave me. They tied me up and didn't feed me for 2 weeks. Do you know how bad your stomach hurts when you don't eat for 2 weeks? I screamed so much...It hurt so. fucking. bad. They had me tied to my bed with ropes, and I wrenched so hard I got my left hand free. This is from ripping at the ropes and pulling and pulling."

"Holy shit..." She took his arm, pulling it to her, and kissed the scar the whole way around. "Otis...How...how did you survive?"

He looked away, shrugging and pulling his wrist away and replacing the bracelet. "Nothin' but nothin'."

She went back to toying with his hair, braiding the white locks. "You got a lot of dead ends here, Otis. I could trim it up for you."

"No. I'll do it." He answered quickly.

"S...sorry."

"No, ah...I..." He sighed. "My mom used to hold me down in a chair and shave my head so I'd look sickly instead of albino...She always told me I was the devil's son, that's why I look the way I do, so she tried to make me look normal..."

"Jesus christ...Otis..." She pulled him close and kissed his cheek. "I'm so, so sorry you went through all that."

"Mm. I told you before I don't want no pity party, mama."

"I'm not pityin' you. I just...Feel awful you went through all that...You don't deserve that."

He shrugged again. She peeked over his shoulder to see what he was sketching. It was a gorgeous portrait of her smiling over her shoulder, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

She gasped. "Otis!"

He smirked. "What?" He leaned back in his chair.

"Baby, I love it so much! It's incredible!" She kissed him, smiling against his lips.

He never felt this okay before. He never felt this happy before. She was like the eye of the storm for him. All this shit and hell swimming around in his mind and heart, and there she was.

"Otis...I really appreciate you...opening up to me...I...I love that."

"Yeah?...I...I mean...I'm tryin'."

"I know, babe. I love how you're opening up to me."

He pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her.

He stood up and threw her on the bed, pulling her shirt over her head and pulling down her pants. She giggled, shrugging out of her pants and shirt.

She sat up and undid his belt, pulling his pants off as she kissed down his torso.

He fisted her hair as she took him into her mouth, groaning and tilting his head back.

When he cried out, she kissed back up his torso and stopped at his neck, sucking on the pale flesh.

He flipped her over and took control until she screamed, digging her nails into his back and jerking on his hair.

Afterward, he didn't stay in bed long, instead rolling off of her and pulling his pants up.

She giggled, pinning him to the wall and shoving her hands down the front of his pants.

He bristled and stopped breathing.

"Babe?"

"Getthefuckoffme."

"Otis, it's-"

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME." He shoved her roughly away.

"Otis, it's okay. It's okay."

His chest heaved with his breaths, panicked and rapid.

"Relax...Relax...It's me..."

His face changed abruptly from fear to absolute shame. He turned on his heels, starting away.

"Otis!" She grabbed his hand.

"Don't _fucking_ touch me!" He jerked his hand away.

"O...Otis...W...were...were you...did your parents rape you?"

His guts twisted and he wanted to vomit. "Shut the fuck up." Voice shaking, he glared at her.

"Otis...Oh my god..." She reached out to take his hand, but he took a step back. Pain and shame still swam in those crimson eyes. He hurried out the door, thundering down the stairs and out of the house. She knew where he was going. Right back to the woods again.

She knew once he had made it to his destination. She could hear the frustrated, agonized screams from the house.

When he came back, his hands were coated in blood once again. She wordlessly wrapped them up, staring at him while he avoided her gaze.

"Please say something..." She pleaded.

"What do you want me to say."

"I..."

"Yeah. That happened to me. I...I wasn't...really ready to tell you that yet. But...you can't pin me from behind like that."

"I'm...probably lucky you didn't have your knife, aren't I?"

He nodded.

"I'm sorry...I'm so, so sorry that happened to you, and I pushed you like that. I'm sorry."

He nodded. "Just...hate...talkin' about that."

"When you're ready we will..."


	7. Chapter 7

When she awoke from her nap after her 24 hour shift, she heard a commotion outside. Peering through the window, she saw what all the fuss was.

Otis swung at a police officer, narrowly missing. The officer turned on him quickly, smashing his fist into the pale, thin face. Otis reeled back for a moment, but it was enough for the officer to have time to crash the barrel of the gun into Otis's skull, dropping him to the ground as he kicked Otis's legs out from under him.

He stomped on Otis's hand, eliciting a scream of agony from the helpless albino. The officer laughed, knowing the power he had with a gun trained to Otis's head. The rest of the Firefly family stared in awe, knowing if they moved, Otis would be shot and killed.

The policeman delivered a hard kick to Otis's ribs again and again and again. Baby screamed profanities at the officer, Mother Firefly sobbed, and Rufus stood dumbly, clenching his fists in hatred.

"Come on you sick fuck, get up! Come on you pale ass fuckin' freak!"

Otis struggled to his hands and knees, spitting blood.

She slowly opened the window so that it wouldn't creak and steadied the gun in her hands.

The officer dealt another swift kick right to Otis's gut. She heard him retch and spit more blood. His flannel shirt blew lightly in the breeze, and as blood dripped from his face, it followed the pattern of the wind.

Otis collapsed on his side, and the officer rolled him to his back and sat on his stomach, dealing blow after blow to Otis, ringed knuckles beating against his face. Seeming satisfied with the abuse, he cocked his pistol. Mama Firefly and Baby screamed.

She cocked the gun and pulled the trigger.

The gunshot made Baby and Mama Firefly flinch as they looked to see who remained in the clear. The police officer slumped over Otis, falling forward and splashing into the mud.

She rushed out to the yard, trying to push out of her mind what she had just done, and the lack of remorse she felt for it. She loved police officers, appreciated everything they did to protect people and keep the peace. But that had been her Otis he was abusing, and she couldn't accept it.

Otis pushed the body off of him and struggled to his feet. He stumbled backward and R.J. caught him, keeping him on his feet.

"I'm fine, I'm fine..." Blood poured from his face and his head spun. He gasped for air as the pain in his ribcage flared, making him growl in pain and only increasing his fury.

"Here, lean on me." She pulled his arm around her shoulders.

"I said I'm fine!" He tried to push her away, but he was dazed, and ended up making himself dizzier.

"Come on...Let's get you cleaned up." She all but drug him upstairs to the bathroom and made him sit on the edge of the tub.

He coughed, spitting blood into the tub. "Ohhh god..." He groaned, pressing his head against the shower wall. She knew how badly it hurt to cough when she had one broken rib, let alone a few like he did.

She noticed him holding his breath. "No, no. Come on. You've gotta breathe." Once he had calmed down, she rustled through her bag, pulling out the supplies she would need.

"...You shot him..." Otis muttered.

"Yes..."

"To protect me..."

"Also yes..."

He fell silent, allowing her to doctor him with little protest as he mulled over the situation. His eyebrow and lip were split, and she was sure he'd have a black eye or two in the morning.

She ran a warm washcloth over his face, feeling the cartilage and bone in his nose shift unnaturally. He cringed at the sensation, but otherwise cooperated.

"I'd be wiling to bet a couple of your ribs are broken."

"You and me both..." He muttered. "Hurts like hell..."

"Yeah...I bet it does...You took a hell of a beating."

"You think I don't know that?"

She searched for a cold compress to hold to his face, deciding that a washcloth run under freezing water would suffice, and holding it to his eye.

"Hold still. I know this'll hurt, but you've gotta stay still." She took his right hand into hers, feeling along the bone structure. His hand was definitely broken. He wailed in pain, gritting his teeth and growling. She wrapped it snuggly with a bandage, incorporating splints on the fingers she were positive were broken.

"There...Now you're all cleaned up."

He was still holding the compress to his face. "Yeah...I don't want to move..."

"Bet you'll feel even better tomorrow."

He winced. "I guarantee I will..."

"Not your first rodeo with broken ribs, I know. But at least this time you have a doctor." She smiled angelically.

"Yeah...that's true..." He hesitated for a moment, then met her eyes. "I don't need protectin', mama."

"I know you don't. God knows you were on your own long enough you can take care of yourself. But if I hadn't shot him, you could be dead right now." She grabbed a fist full of gauze and held it out to him. "Here, hotshot. Your nose is still bleeding."

" _Here hotshot, your nose is still bleeding."_ He didn't know how to respond, so he mocked her, taking the gauze from her hand and holding it against his face. He had to admit, the blood spraying from his mouth when he spoke from whatever was still bleeding in there took away a little bit of the fire in his words.

She raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Very cute. Come on. Let's get you somewhere where you're stationary."

"Oh god...don't make me move."

"Come on, big man. Stand up."

Insulted, he gruffly pushed himself up and immediately stumbled backwards. His head was still spinning, and he grappled for something to support his weight.

"Yeah. That's what I thought." She let him lean on her as he needed, and led him to his room. "Alright. Just lie down for a while, yeah?"

"That sounds good..." He rolled onto the bed, cringing at the movement.

She took his hand in hers, bringing it against her face. "I love you..."

He tried not to betray his emotions, but she saw his eyes widen. He stamped down the fury that rose in his chest. He hated it when people threw those words around like it was nothing. To someone who hadn't felt love for the better part of the first half of his life, they weren't to be taken lightly. When he first came to the Firefly family, and had heard those words directed at him for the first time, he had found it strange, being told that he couldn't be loved for the first 13 years of his life. He wanted to believe her. She seemed like she did- the way she treated him and her words didn't conflict. But he still held on to that apprehension.

She wasn't offended when he didn't respond. She knew it would take him much longer to say those words than it did her. But she wanted him to know. She wanted him to know that he was valuable to her, and she did love him. She loved him so much.

She stroked his arm, lightly kissing his hand. "I do love you, handsome."

What was another thing he didn't understand. Baby had called him sexy, had admitted she liked looking at him when they were fucking one time or another. But Adoria called him handsome all the time. She knew his self-esteem was in the shitter, but she didn't know why. He was an attractive man. Not conventionally so, but he was. Extremely so, in her oppinion. She didn't know that his parents had told him he was disgusting and ugly and fat every day for 13 years, so he had trouble believing the contrary.

Unwilling to think to much in the state he was in, he closed his eyes, sighing.


	8. Chapter 8

She was right- when she saw him at the kitchen table the next day, drinking his coffee, he had two shiners. From the look on his face, he felt about as good as she thought he would.

"Good morning sunshine." She smiled sweetly. The glare over his mug was more than enough to confirm how he was feeling. "A little sore today?"

"Just a tad." He replied.

"You're not going out to work on a motor are you?" He shook his head in response. "Good. That….wouldn't be a good decision."

"I'm not dumb, mama. I've lived a long time before you came along."

"I know. I just feel like I need to look out for you…" She stood next to him, cupping his cheek.

"Hey, give me some sugar, yeah? Make it sweet." He smirked. She leaned down and kissed him, softly, sweetly.

Neither of them heard the footsteps into the kitchen.

"Ohhh. You two are so sweet." Mother Firefly cooed.

She broke away from the kiss, resting her hand on the back of his neck.

"How are you doin' today, Otis? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

"I trust you're takin' good care of my baby boy. You're a good girl." She walked through the kitchen, collecting what she needed, and left."

"Was that sweet enough for you, babe?" She smirked.

He chuckled. "Mama, you can kiss me like that any time."

She went off to work and when she came home, he was asleep on the couch, snoring. Baby was glaring at him as she tried to read a magazine, but apparently couldn't concentrate.

"I have _never_ heard him snore before." She sighed. "It's fucking annoying."

"It's because he can't breathe through his nose, probably." She sat down on the edge of the couch, contemplating stroking his hair in his sleep.

A snore hitched in his throat and he woke up, looking around the room. "...Was I making that noise?"

"Yes." She laughed. "Did you wake yourself up?"

"Yeah..."

"I hope this is all you did today. You need rest to get better."

"Basically."

"Bulllllllshiiiiit." Baby sang. "He helped Tiny do somethin' down in the basement, I don't know what it was. He helped Rufus with the motor out back, but he was just talkin' to him, not doin' anything. Then he went and worked some, then he came down here and passed out."

"Otis."

"I wasn't doin' anything down in the basment! He needed me to help him find one of his things!"

"Okay. I believe you." she kissed him, helping him sit up.

He moaned. "God, that hurts..."

"I know, babe..."

That night he seemed restless, as she heard him pacing multiple times. It went on for a few days as he was relatively inactive during the day, but as he gained strength back and recovered, he became normal again.

She had been in the Firefly family 3 months by the time he fully recovered from his bout with the police officer. She knew he healed slowly because he didn't give himself proper nutrition most of the time, considering he only ate half of the time.

It was a gorgeous day. The sun wasn't beating down so aggressively, and it was even over cast in some areas. It was cooler, too, not as blistering hot.

"Hey, mama." Otis came in from the garage. "Ah...wanna go for a ride with me?" She turned and looked at him. His face was slightly redder in the cheeks, and he was looking at his shoes.

"Sure, babe! Let's go!" She hopped out of her chair and rushed to his side.

He took her to the car they had just stolen from a victim: A gorgeous '57 Chevy convertible, candy apple red. She hopped into the car as he started the engine.

"Oooh, listen to that purr, babe."

"Doesn't purr like you do, though." He smirked back at her. She swatted his chest, giggling.

Top down, soaring down the highway, he watched her out of the corner of his eye as he drove.

She was incredibly gorgeous, her long auburn hair fluttering in the wind as she sang along to the radio, hands in the air and laughing between verses. Her sea blue eyes glittered with life and her smile lit up the world.

His heart clenched when he looked at her. She was so full of life in that moment. And, admittedly, he felt truly alive, with the wind blasting his hair back, too, the sun on his skin, but not burning him for once, just warming him. He hadn't been able to keep his hat on his head, so he discarded it in the back seat, and he wasn't even worried about his face getting sunburnt.

She made him feel alive. She helped him feel truly alive for the first time he could remember. Absolutely careless and childlike in the moment, laughing along with her about nothing but the euphoria of the adventure. He couldn't help but smile back at her when she smiled at him like that, absolutely beaming.

The way he felt, and the way she showed him that she felt, maybe she wasn't trying to screw him over. Maybe she really did love him like she said she did.

They stopped to get gas in a small town off the highway somewhere. She wasn't even sure what town they were in, and she prayed to God that Otis knew how to get back.

Watching him walk into the gas station to pay, her mouth watered. There was no denying that he had a nice body. He was slim and muscular, and she loved to touch him. Anywhere and everywhere. She just wanted to have her hands on him. She could see his back muscles twist under his shirt as he walked away from her.

" _Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave."_ She thought.

When he returned, she pulled him against her and kissed him, hungrily and somewhat sloppy.

"Mmm? What's that for?"

"Lookin' so goddamn fine, baby."

He smirked, eyes darkening with lust. "You don't look so bad yourself, Adi." His eyes wandered over her body greedily.

They began to drive back to the house, and she placed her hand gently on the back of his neck. She saw him sigh in pleasure. Not erotic pleasure, but comfort. He was finally relaxed with her. He finally somewhat trusted her, or at least felt safe enough.

"I love you." She shouted over the wind.

He smiled back at her. That was enough for her. That was more than enough.


	9. Chapter 9

"So, what was the occassion for the ride, Baby?"

He shrugged. "Just wanted to spend some time with you."

"Really?" Her eyes lit up.

"Yes...?"

"You didn't have to check and see if the motor worked?"

"No...? I said, I just wanted to spend time with you."

"You really like me?" She joked.

He chuckled, taking her arms by the wrists and placing them around his waist. "Yes. I do." He took her face in his hands, just as she did to him so frequently, and kissed her. When she pulled away, she looked dazed, head swimming from the kiss. "I mean. You're alright, I guess." He smirked.

"I love you." She kissed him lightly.

A few more days passed. His nightmares continued, and it drove her insane that she couldn't run to him. She just wanted to hold him and tell him that it would be okay.

They lay in bed together after making love, him holding her close. He had become more and more affectionate as time had gone on. Perhaps it was because he had craved it so much his entire life that he felt he should give to receive.

It was late, and she knew he was drowsy. So was she, to be fair. She rose to leave, but he tightened his grip.

"Erm...y...you don't have to leave."

"What?" She turned to face him.

He cleared his throat. "Stay?"

He looked apprehensive, but she could see the hope behind his mask. She stroked his face, smiling up at him. "Of course."

She snuggled up to him and fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

He seemed restless to her, waking her up by fidgeting every once in a while. When she awoke in the morning, he was already awake, stroking her hair.

"Hi, baby."

"Hey. You gotta go to work?"

She nodded and he released her from his grip, allowing her to get ready.

That night, she slept with him again, and the next night, and the next. Each night she curled up in his arms, he seemed a bit more relaxed to her.

Holding her small frame in his arms as he slept was something entirely new to him. He had never slept in the same bed as anyone in his entire life. He wasn't too sure what his opinion was on the matter yet, but he thought he liked it. He liked the way her thin frame fit perfectly against his body when she snuggled up to him. He loved the soft smile that graced her beautiful, delicate features as she took her last breath before falling asleep.

Fuck, he was falling for her. Hard.

Maybe that was incorrect. Maybe he had already fallen for her and was just now allowing himself to feel all the emotions that came along with it. He had been so guarded, so afraid of being hurt just that one more time, that he had denied himself that.

But when he looked up at him with those big blue eyes he couldn't think straight and he lost the ability to form coherent sentences. It had been a few months since she had come to the Firefly home- he had lost count, truthfully- but that hadn't changed.

She knew it was a big step for him to let her sleep with him. She knew that it came with the possibility of being thrown out when he had a nightmare, but just the fact that he was able to sleep in the same room as her without tying her up or brutalizing her to the point she couldn't move was huge. She was proud of him for the way he seemed to be letting go of his demons and opening up to her. She knew there were some other things along the line he would struggle with, but she was so proud of him for the progress he was making. And, to be fair, that could have been because that progress benefited her, as it allowed her to be closer to him, but nonetheless she was ecstatic.

She had had a horrible day at work, and all she wanted to do when she got home was release tension; be that fucking the ever loving daylights out of Otis or taking an hour-long hot shower, she hadn't decided yet. But she was sure it would probably be both.

When she walked in the door, Otis and Baby were engaged in some sort of insult match, shouting different hilarious lines at each other. When he noticed that Adoria had walked in the door, though, he stopped and immediately walked over to her. "Bad day?"

"How did you know?"

"You look like hell."

"Thanks, babe." She started up the stairs. He followed.

"Pussy whipped." Baby muttered.

She flopped on the bed when she reached his room, and he sat behind her, beginning to knead her shoulders. "Oh, god, baby yes...God, that feels so good."

His rough, strong hands worked the muscles, and she melted under his touch, moaning and sighing contentedly.

"God, I can't stand those sounds you're makin', mama." He nipped at her neck.

"Then do something about it."

He pushed her against the bed, pulling her pants off and kissing her hips. She gasped as he went down on her; he never had before. She fisted his hair, jerking heavily as he executed what she considered perfect technique. He hadn't shaven that day, and his scruff tickled just perfectly.

She panted after he was done, releasing his hair from her grip as he kissed up her torso. "Oh, I'm not done with you yet." He quickly took his pants off, tossing them in a corner haphazardly.

"Oh, god...Baby you're gonna kill me."

"What an awesome way to die." He smirked.

After their rounds, she showered and flopped on his bed once more. He was sketching something in a chair adjacent to her. "Otis?"

"Hm?"

"How did you lose your virginity?"

"What? My dad fucked me, I told you."

"No, no. That doesn't count. That's rape. It's illegal and horrible and just...disgusting for him to have done to you. People that do that are trash. No, I mean the first time you had sex with a girl. A real, live girl."

Otis sighed. "Back when I was 15, I met this girl at the bar I went to-"

"A bar? At 15?"

"They didn't care. Anyway, I pick up this chick and she's hotter'n hell. Like...hot damn. And I'm nervous as hell. I don't know what I'm going to do with this girl. Only thing I'd ever seen was my dad fuckin' my mom, and then fuckin' me. So, we fucked in the back of her panel van, and she kept telling me how incredible I was. It was sloppy and horrible and clumsy, but she must've been into it. And we just kept goin' and goin' and goin'. She eventually fell sleep and I snuck out and ran as fast as I could away from her crazy ass. Annnd that would be the first time I had consensual sex. Exciting stuff, huh? Worst blowjob I've ever had, by the way."

"What?"

"Teeth."

She cringed. "Ow..."

"Yeah." He returned to his sketch. "What about you?"

"Huh?"

"First time you rode the fuck train?"

She laughed at his euphemism, earning her a crooked smirk from him, too. "I was in medical school-"

"Holy fuck, you waited that long?"

"Not everyone is as hypersexual as you are, Otis. Anyway, First year in med school, this kid was bangin' alright-"

"Bangin'? That a northern thing?"

"Yeah. Stop interrupting me!" She swatted him. "So, we got drunk after a big test and uh...that was that..."

"Hm..." He took a deep breath and turned to her. "So...you literally slept with a doctor. And here you are with me."

"Yeah?" She smiled, crawling into his lap. "I like you better. You're one of a kind. Those assholes are all carbon copies of each other." She twirled his hair around her finger. He seemed enraptured in her, slowly snaking his arms around her waist.

They slept together again that night, entangled in one another. She felt him fidgeting again, but looking at his face, he was dead asleep. That's when he started whimpering. It broke her heart...He sounded so helpless and scared. He untangled himself from her and turned on his other side, back facing her.

"No...Stop...Please...Please don't hurt me anymore..."

She gently laid a hand on his side, willing him to wake up and come to his senses.

"Mommy, no...no!" He began to shake, bringing his hands up to cover his head. "NO!" He kicked his legs frantically. Her heart sunk. She knew what was happening in his dream. "Daddy, no! NO! THAT HURTS!"

"Baby, god...please wake up..."

"NO! STOP!" He flailed, shoving her off the bed. "Please, please stop...I didn't do anything...I...I'll be good..." He struggled fiercely again. She hoped he was winning the battle in his mind. "Please..." Abruptly, he shot up in the bed, gasping for air. As soon as he gained his bearings, he curled up into the ball that he always did, cursing. "FUCK!"

She rose from the floor, touching his shoulder lightly. "Baby?" He screamed in terror. He had forgotten she was there. "Sorry, sorry..." She sat down next to him on the bed. She could see him debating in his mind whether to throw her out or let her stay. He rubbed his temples, sighing. "You're okay." She stroked his back.

"Fuck..." He muttered again.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him close to her. "It's okay..." She rested one hand against his head and pushed him toward her, peppering his cheek with kisses. He simply closed his eyes.

God, it felt so good to him to have her there. To have someone right there, loving him like this after he had just had one of his episodes. Showing him that he still could be loved, even if he was as flawed as he had just shown. He felt her nuzzle his face, pressing more kisses to his cheek. He loved that. God, if he could just get her to sit and do that for hours, just loving on him like this...Especially after the images in his head that he had just experienced. He tilted his head closer to her, and he felt her smile against his face as her hand rested on his chest.

"Baby, your heart's racing..." She whispered. He nodded. "Relax...I'm here...I love you...I love you so much..."

It finally clicked for him that she definitely wasn't here to just hurt him and move on. She was here for him. She actually loved him. And dammit, he loved her too...


	10. Chapter 10

6 months. 6 months had passed since that scared little girl had made her way to the Firefly home. It had only been 6 months, and now Otis couldn't imagine his life without her.

He couldn't imagine a day without her smile or laugh, without her sweet touches reminding him that he was human. She loved him so much, and even though he hadn't been able to say the words yet, he felt the same way. He appreciated her so much for what she had done for him. She had made him realize that his past didn't need to have such a hold on him anymore. She helped loosen the shackles, but he would never be free from it. They both knew that. It had been too traumatic for too long for him ever to be entirely free.

She had convinced him to go out to a bar with her, just to have a couple drinks. He was fine, talking and joking with her just like he always did.

A large man sat down beside them at the bar, and lit a cigarette. Once Otis caught a whiff of the smell, he started to become anxious.

"You okay, Baby?"

"Huh? Yeah I'm fine." He nervously glanced around the bar.

"Babe..."

"Huh? I'm okay. I'm fine."

"Okay..." They kept drinking and talking, eventually leaving before the sun went down so Otis could drive. They started home, and she rested her hand on the back of his neck. Neither of them were drunk, they had only had a few beers just to go out. "Baby...what happened that you got all anxious?

He sighed. "Uh...Y'know those round scars I have on my back and shoulders?"

"Yeah. You have some on your legs and arms and belly, too."

"Yeah...I haven't been shot that many times. They're cigarette burns. My dad used to put his cigarettes out on me. I've gotten to the point where I can tell what kind of cigarette you're smoking, and I can pick out the kind he smoked right away. That guy that came in was smoking the kind my daddy used to. Just...brings back some memories, y'know?"

"Yeah..."

'You always get so sad when I tell you shit about that."

"It just...I wish so badly it hadn't happened to you. It makes me sad that it did."

"But you still want me to tell you?" He glanced at her.

"Yes! You can tell me anything! I want you to tell me everything..."

"Okay." He shrugged. "Eventually I will..."

"You have been. Little by little." She stroked his shoulders.

When they got home, they went straight to his bedroom, wrapped up in each other.

He loved her tattoos about as much as she hated his.

He loved to kiss them, pressing his lips against the ink on her skin, showing his appreciation for her body and the way the artwork decorated it.

She giggled, kneading her hands in his hair as he kissed her sternum, the intricate design that rested there.

"Baby, what're you doin'?" He only grunted in response as he moved to her stomach, kissing the artwork there. "I love you...God I love you." She pulled on his hair to make him look up at her. He cringed at the pain, but met her eyes. "Otis...I love you so much...I just want you to always know that." She released him from her grip, and he lay his head on her stomach, sighing deeply. She stroked his hair, and after a while heard his breathing slow. She giggled, snuggling into him.

She heard he and Baby talking that next day, right before they went to bed.

"Well, do you love her?" Baby asked.

"W...Well, yeah...I...I feel that...But..."

"But what, you idiot? Just tell her!"

"It's...not that easy for me, Angel-baby."

"Ooh, geez. You're serious."

"I...I've never had this. Ever. Yeah you and I fucked around but that..."

"Yeah, no that wasn't love. Sorry."

"I know it wasn't. I...I'm scared..."

"What?"

"You fuckin' heard me."

"Why?"

"...What if she doesn't mean it?"

"Otis, the world isn't out to fuck you. She really does care about you. She really does love you. And not like we do. She adores you. She doesn't take those words lightly, either. She just doesn't have as much trouble with it as you do. But she's never been through what you have, either."

"But-"

"No. She isn't going to just hurt you, Otis. Trust me on that. Just take a chance. You won't get burned this time."

"Okay...Okay...I trust you."

"Cuz you know I can read people."

"Mm. Goodnight."

"Goodnight. Give her an extra plowin' for me, yeah?"

"Not tonight."

He came into his-their- room and flopped on the bed beside her, pulling her against him. "Hey, Adi." He kissed her.

"Hi baby."

They lay and talked for a while, eventually lulling each other to sleep.

When they awoke the next day, he was curled around her, one large hand resting next to his head on her abdomen. His hair obstructed his face in a white curtain, even tangling around his own fingers.

"Baby, wake up..." She shook him gently.

"Nn..." he moaned.

"Come on, babe. I have to get up and go to work."

He stretched, rolling off of her and letting her up. Once she had gotten out of bed, he stood and pulled clothes on. He was awake now, might as well get up.

When she came back in to the room from the bathroom, he was fiddling with something in his hands. He looked anxious, waiting for her to come out.

God, he didn't know if he could do this. He didn't know if he could make it through the sentence. But he felt it. He really did.

She could read his body language like a book by now. His weight was on one hip, his shoulders were hunched forward, and he was fiddling with something in his hands. He was nervous about something.

"Baby? You okay?"

"Huh? Yeah."

"I gotta go to work. I love you." She kissed him and turned to walk away.

"Hey, mama...ah..."

She turned back to him, expectant.

"I ah...I love you too." He swallowed heavily.

A smile spread quickly across her face, and she ran back to him, crashing into him and taking his face in her hands, kissing him over and over and over. He began to laugh, trying to pull away.

"You...you said it. You said you love me..."

"'Course I do..."

"I know...I know it's just hard for you to say...I know you do. It just...really means a lot to me that you said it, Otis." She kissed him once more.

"You're gonna be late for work. There'll be plenty more of this when you get home."

"Will you be awake? I work a double..."

"I'll try to be. I can't promise, but I'll try to be."

"Okay. I love you, handsome." She peeked around the door expectantly.

He sighed and chuckled, leaning on one foot again, amused. "I love you too, beautiful."

She had to duck around the corner so he couldn't see her reaction. Hearing him say that, first of all made her giddy and excited. But the way his southern drawl was in combination with the way his voice deepened when he called her beautiful. She was weak in the knees. God, he looked so damn good saying it, too. She hurried to her car before she ran back into the room and fucked him until he begged for mercy.

She had done it. She had finally broken down his wall. There would always still be some bricks left, but she had torn it down.


End file.
